A Powerful Voice

All of my adult life I have longed for a powerful voice. There is a small soprano sound which my vocal cords emit, and this voice does not serve me well. As a swim coach, I need a powerful sound which carries over the splashing. With such a voice as I have, I must earn my authority as a coach slowly and painfully. When I answer the telephone, even today as a woman of a certain age, people ask me if my mother is at home. I have wished for a voice that would command attention and respect.

Here's the comment fmhLisa made when she met me:

And as long as we’re being scary mean uber feminists, can I just say that I’m still a little blown away by how supremely feminine Bored in Vernal is. Her blog voice in my head sounds a lot like a super firm Eleanor Roosevelt, but in person she this tiny little thing, with a very very feminine way about her, and a tiny little girl voice. I was just following her comments around the nacle and trying to read them with her actual voice in my head rather than the “Roosevelt esque Bored in Voice” I’d created for her, and I couldn’t do it. Is that weird?

I was so flattered that my blog voice was commanding.

With my "tiny little girl voice" and less than statuesque height, I have throughout my life confronted and pondered issues of respect and authority. And lately I have wondered what I would do if placed in such a position. My recent blog post, "If You Were a (Female) Speaker At General Conference" was my effort to see what other Mormon women would do given an authoritative placement in the LDS Church. Although this post was read by over 200 people, I tellingly only received 4 willing speculators. Perhaps many are uncomfortable with "aspiring" to a calling. I can sympathize with this feeling, since I have been hurt by accusations in the Bloggernacle of wanting to be a Bishop or usurping the Priesthood. In addition, after I had put the post up, a furor arose over Julie Beck's talk in Conference, and I think many were reluctant to seemingly denigrate her remarks. However, I think it's important for us to define our personal philosophies regarding this issue. The probability that each LDS woman will at some time in our lives hold a position of some small authority is quite high.


The first thing I would do as a high-profile woman would be to choose one or two specific platforms. I think for everyone from political candidates to Apostles it is extremely effective to become known for one or two strong stances. I'd choose something that was meaningful to me and something I think that women could have a strong influence over. I'd strive diligently both for revelation and to get to know the concerns of LDS women worldwide. I'd eschew platforms such as modesty or homemaking in favor of education or literacy or saving the earth. I'd strongly consider service as a platform, though it would have to be more specific and defined than the broad category we now invoke. I think a woman leader must select causes which are universal to women in every circumstance, which cause a great good for the entire world, and have eternal implications.

Next, I would give talks which emphasize my platform in a way that reaches all within the sound of my voice. When a woman gives a talk in General Conference she is speaking to all: women, men and children; members and non-members; rich and poor; mothers, single women, divorced women, etc. Though she might address herself to mothers or to young women, her messages fall upon the ears of the fathers and the young men and give them subtle messages also. For example, a father might pick up from a talk given to mothers that his wife is responsible for the length of their son's hair.

I regret the fact that appearance makes such a difference in the regard in which a woman in the public sphere is held. However, I would recognize that I must present a clean, fit, and professional appearance in order to be taken seriously. This would not preclude my wearing of the quirky items I love on occasion and in appropriate circumstances. I think I'd also wear pantsuits to travel and give talks in (a la Hilary Clinton.) I noticed in a press release about newly called General RS counselor Barbara Thompson that she said she felt more comfortable in pants than dresses. I wished that she would continue to wear her pants often, and to make them more acceptable in Mormon circles.

Finally, I would travel widely and attempt to make Mormon women everywhere aware and accepting of other cultures. The Salt Lake Tribune reported that the General RS presidency recently met for lunch with 17 women from African nations. The visitors included a Muslim from Djibouti with whom Beck fasted in honor of Ramadan. I was extremely impressed by her willingness to experience cultural and religious diversity in her calling to serve the women of the world.

Now, the title of my hypothetical General Conference talk: Using Your Education as a Spiritual Force for Good. I'd emphasize the variety of levels of education to which we can attain--some are self-taught, some gain their education through life experience, some through advanced degrees. Some are educated in music, some in physics, some in nutrition. These can all be used as a spiritual force for good in whatever sphere we are placed. I wouldn't address my remarks specifically to the female sex, though I would hope my remarks would resonate particularly with women.

With that, I'll give all you readers a second chance: tell us what you'd do with a powerful voice!

Ramadan

Most of the Muslim world started the observation of Ramadan on September 13 this year. I've discovered that during the month of Ramadan celebrations, life changes drastically here in Riyadh. Everyone is fasting (or at least pretending to fast) during the daylight hours from sunrise to sunset. So whenever they can, they sleep or take it easy during the day. When the sun goes down, they break their fast with water and some dates, then go to prayer. After that, the city comes alive. Many families have big meals or parties. Stores are open until 1 or 2 am and the streets are crowded with shoppers. There are Ramadan sales in every shop.

My students have been coming to school exhausted, and seem surprised that we are having class. Here in the HPE department, we don't do strenuous exercise during these weeks of fasting, but continue to hold classes for continuity's sake. We have 3 weeks of school and then a 2-week vacation coming up. Ramadan is early this year, and since school just started, it makes it difficult. We'll do more theory than practical PE, with emphasis on nutrition.

This week was also the University's faculty party. My husband was sent the following email:

Invitation to a Ramadan Dinner
PSU would like to invite all faculty to a Ramadan dinner on
Tuesday the 25th of September at 9.30pm
The evening’s entertainment will include: competitions, cultural activities and sports activities, the highlight of which is a game of football between a faculty and a student team. Finally, a delicious dinner will be served under a full moon and a starlit sky.
We hope that you will attend and enjoy this annual PSU calendar event!
A bus will be available to pick up faculty from the DQ.

At first I was confused, because the email I got wasn't as detailed, and the date was different. I soon realized that there was a men's party and a separate women's party. I teased DH that it wouldn't be as romantic under the moon and stars without the women!

So Monday night we had our party. I must say I was less than impressed. Women faculty arrived promptly at 9:00 PM when the shuttle delivered us, dressed to the nines. Many were wearing their native costumes. There were colorful saris from India, gold-threaded embroidery on flowing robes, the traditional Saudi thawb. And the jewelry was fabulous! Tables were loaded with covered dishes containing the native Middle Eastern foods. But we were not to eat or begin the program until the arrival of the Women's Dean and Assistant Dean. We waited and waited, famished with hunger. The Westerners became worried that something might have happened to detain the Dean. But we were told not to worry, that this was common during Ramadan. A party set for 9 PM might not get started until much, much later. It was difficult to remember that customs were different, and not to construe this behavior as rude. But the Dean did not show up until 11:30. (I was hoping to go home by 11!) We had a short poetry reading by several students, the Dean welcomed us there, and then we ate. There was a tattoo parlor off to one side where we could go and get our palms or hands tattooed with henna. One of the Architecture faculty, a new arrival from Canada, got her ankle and the side of her leg tattooed. (It seems that this is a rather scandalous place to get henna'ed.) Those of us from the DQ were so tired, we left around 1:00, the soonest we could get away.

I don't know how these people do it, partying all night long, every night all month long, and going to work the next day. They are tired and fasting, and irritable. Stay off the roads! It's dangerous out there.