If this is you, and your wife decides to run her first triathlon when she is 47 years old--and if she is one of the oldest people there and the only one with a ghetto Walmart bike--if you decide to come and pick her up and you happen to see her finish at a pitiful 2 hours and 34 minutes--then don't even THINK about telling her that two people passed her on the way into the stadium for her last lap.
And if your wife goes over to congratulate someone she knows, then please don't yell at her for making you stand in the hot sun. And whatever you do, don't get in your car angry and tell her to ride her bike home. If this is you and your wife has just completed a half mile swim, a 13 mile bike up the side of a mountain, and a 5K run, then she will be very tired if she has to bike home for 7 more miles. And the heavens will watch as she rides and she cries and cries and the wind dries salt tear tracks down her face.
If this is you.
October, now with 40% boos
6 days ago
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11 comments:
Damnit BiV, we are all rooting for you over here--you rock, you awesome traithleteish woman!!!
Congratulations! I've got a warning for you: triathalons are addictive. You rock, girl!
Congrats on the race! Good for you. Kick that man in the butt and maybe out the door!
Oh. I've been thinking about triathlons...
I ran a marathon a couple of years ago. I don't look like a marathoner, but I finished it. Now a good friend is doing triathlons and it's looking like the new challenge.
Way to go. You inspire me.
Your husband, on the other hand...when I said I wanted to run the marathon, my husband did it with me. And he waited forever at the finish line (exhausted, in the hot sun) and then even drove back to find me and encourage me. You can tell your husband...IF THIS IS HIM...that's what a real man does.
Congrats on doing a marathon! That's really impressive! :)... Seriously... wow.
Your story reminded me of a movie I just saw recently - The Prize Winner of Defiance, Ohio. It's about a very talented writer named Evelyn Ryan (played by Julianne Moore) who enters commercial jingle-writing contests and constantly wins them - and in doing so supports her 10 children. It was based on a true story - the real family was very much involved with the making of the movie.
It was a heart breaking story because her husband never cared for her or her dreams at all. He hated his life, constantly drank, and was consumed with self-pity. When listening to your story and seeing that one, it just broke my heart. All I could see is myself in that movie - how I could be that husband one day (to a much lesser degree) because I exhibit a very small amount of his attitude and behavior right now. I can't criticize at all. I told my wife about this, and she thought I was being silly, but it really hit home for me. Sometimes it's hard to see your own faults until you see them in others.
Gosh BIV, you should not be putting up with this kind of stuff. It's beyond passive aggressive, or patriarchal or anything like that. I realize you didn't ask for advice, but I think you need to try counseling, or something. This isn't the way a person treats another human being, let alone his own wife.
I think you're awesome for completing a triatholon (if you do another, get a better bike; you deserve it, Your husband...if this is him...needs some serious therapy. What is it about love, honor, and cherish that he doesn't get? Oh, like maybe all of it? I detect a teeny weeny bit of jealousy in his actions. Everybody has a bad day now and then, but as women all over the world could tell him, sometimes you just have to get over yourself.
Many thanks to all my supporters. I think I _am_ addicted to the triathlon. I will definitely do another one. Alison, your husband is awesome, and yes, he is a real man!
For those who have suggested therapy, I don't disagree, but I have some issues with therapy. I'll have to explain in a blog post one of these days.
If therapy isn't an option, I vote for a good hard right hook.
Seriously, that's jerk behavior, not eternal companion behavior.
And congrats for finishing the triathlon! You rock.
Would that I, with all of these friends, were there to cheer you on and weep with you. We'll be with you in spirit next time for sure.
Jealous of you being able to finish a triathlon, and glad that I married someone who considers my running shoes to be a necessary expense, not a luxury. (This came up one day, when we were discussing the $30,000 he owes me for giving him 3 children, and he wondered out loud how much of it I've already spent. Running stuff falls under the category of life-sustaining and sanity-preserving, therefore a necessity.)
I would have carried you home, if I had been there. That was uncalled for and reeking of insecurity. He married someone who is stronger than he.
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