Saturday, February 23, 2008

Confession: I Just Want to Sit and Play the Harp




As an LDS woman, it really exhausts me to contemplate the afterlife. Right now I am really tired and I wish I could look forward to one day going to my eternal REST. I've always been rather partial to the idea of sitting at the feet of Jesus and playing a harp. And maybe singing in the heavenly choir.

The last thing I want to be up there waiting for me is the possibility of millions of spirit children. I don't want to be frantically laboring, running to and fro doing missionary work. It gives me a headache to contemplate sentiments such as the following:

Oh yes, it is possible to repent in the spirit world, although we are given to understand that it is much more difficult to repent there because we will not have our physical bodies to help us. Also an integral part of repentance is that we must make restitution. This means that if you have stolen five dollars, you have to return five dollars to the person whom you have robbed. This may be very difficult to do in the spirit world.

I just know that when I die I will remember the name of the drugstore from which I stole that yo-yo and will be condemned to haunt the place, moaning and trying unsuccessfully to repay the $5 restitution.

And check out this picture:

Do I have to wear one of those white things? What does a spirit personage wear? What is it made of? Spirit lycra? Who makes it, or do we just imagine it into being?

Can I opt out of all of this? I relate to King Benjamin's desire to go down in peace, with his immortal spirit joining the choirs above in singing the praises of a just God.

Does anything bother you about our uniquely LDS view of the afterlife? What do you like about it?

15 comments:

Ann said...

Are you OK BiV?

Maybe it's something about being forty-something. The idea of eternal life is no reward to me. I'm much happier with the idea of it just being over. Done. Non-existent.

Zillah said...

It's not just something about being forty-something. I've felt this way since I was about 11.

Deborah said...

I was at a beautiful Catholic funeral today and heard a lot of language about the woman -- mother of 8, grandmother of 33, casualty of cancer -- "resting at last and forever in the presence of her savior and her mother, Mary."

I love the doctrine of eternal progression -- partly because I want learn learn learn (swahili, quilting, astrophysics) -- but when I sometimes the very idea of ETERNITY seems overwhelming. When I was a kid, I asked my mom if "sleeping for five million years every so often" was a possibility. And I really hope this woman is at rest for quite a while . . .

Ann said...

Over on the Mr. Deity podcast, the Deity and Larry are discussing whether or not there should be an afterlife. "Who wants to live forever? I don't want to live forever! Do you want to live forever?"

"I don't want to live forever."

"Yeah, so you've programmed an end date for yourself, then?"

"No."

"No, me neither."

....

"We've gotta have an afterlife!"

Rich said...

I'm looking forward (if I'm not forced into Hell instead for my frequent heretical rants) to exploring the cosmos. And if we have some license in the creative dept., I'd really enjoy creating an ocean world with perfectly tubing, oh, say, 6-12 foot sets, and spend a few "days" surfing my brains out when I'm not on some angelic errand...
:^)

Ami said...

I'm excited. As others have said, my idea of heaven is to learn everything there is to know. And I've figured out that with creation, that has to increase.

Remember, we will not be burdend with mortal bodies that need both physical and neurochemical recharging. No illness. No physical problems. Our memory storage will probably work very differently from how it does now.

No hauling boxes during difficult moves, no doing laundry or dishes. No financial worries.

Manna will be flowing through our veins.

What a relief to serve others without need to worry about a single thing for ourselves! Without even needing to worry about the physical needs of those we are administering to.

It will be spiritual and intellectual dialogue. And creation and learning.

I like to think the clothes are imagined, (I actually would like flowy, gauzy, windswept pretties. But not to go mountain climbing with.) Though maybe before we get the hang of it we'll need to borrow a few premades.

onelowerlight said...

I think that when we finally get there, it's going to be simultaneously completely different and completely similar to what we have here now. What I mean is that it will feel completely familiar, and yet when we're settled in and we look back on what we thought it would be like, we'll laugh our heads off for years and years. Honestly, I don't think we have enough information to say "I only want to go to the third degree of the celestial kingdom, I just want to be a ministering angel," etc. Who knows how opinions will change when our former knowledge is restored beyond the veil? I just know what I need to do now, and I'm confident that it will bring me happiness and fulfillment even if I don't totally understand all the mechanisms.

Bored in Vernal said...

Hey! I didn't say I wanted to go to the telestial kingdom or be a ministering angel! I want to be a resting angel. Although Deborah, Rich, and Ami have presented a more encouraging view of the afterlife. I guess I would enjoy surfing, learning Swahili, and mountain climbing with no physical limitations--as long as I could take a few five-million-year naps first.

Sally said...

I know what you're saying. Overseeing worlds and billions of children - sounds like being bishop or YW pres. for eternity. Three years wears me out...

Doc said...

No one is required to run faster than they have strength. Remember, eternity is a very long time. I ponder some of the old purported visions about being exhausted by all the work needed in the spirit world and I wonder if they weren't just a reflection of personal anxiety and perfectionism. I could be wrong. I don't know. Rest sounds great, but then eventually, you are rested completely and fully, then what, rest some more? Ask for and Hope for oblivion? Commit spiritual harry carry? I can't believe tired will be a state we know in the next life as intimately as we can here.

annegb said...

Well, I'm totally with you on this. I actually just wrote my column about it and I'd extrapolate, but I still might use it. I know exactly how you feel. And I don't say that very darn often.

ambrosia ananas said...

The apostate's $.02:

Eternity has always overwhelmed me. I felt like I'd be stuck working and working forever to get closer to perfect. And I really suck at that. And what if I screwed things up too badly in this life? If I married the wrong man, would my children be doomed *forever*? And while there are tons of things I'd love to spend eternity learning and studying, most of them would be irrelevant in most people's concepts of heaven (Navaho? I thought we'd all be speaking one heavenly tongue. Cake decorating? What, God wants a wedding cake?). So eternity wouldn't even be very fun. And what if I died while I was depressed? Then probably I'd wake up feeling the same way on the other side, because we believe that the same spirit that possesses our body at death will possess it again in the next life. That would be a great eternity. (I interpreted that a little too literally, I think.)

It's one of the things that relieves me about not believing in an afterlife. When I'm dead, I'm done. Playing the harp sounds pretty nice, though.

Terry said...

I, too, can relate to this post. My sister who is 10 years older than I am has 15 children (a yours, mine, and ours thing). She always thought that when the kids became adults there would be less worrying about them. She was wrong. Now there are more to worry about with grandchildren in the mix.
Hopefully when we are on the other side and having children we will have a perfect knowledge with perfect love and it won't be horribly painful. Yet, I know that Enoch said that God wept over his children. So is it really just more of the same only on an infinite level? I, too, hope to be in the choirs of heaven, with some rest included in the learning.

Chelsea said...

There are certain personality types that can't imagine life without constant work. These are the same people who don't ever retire. I'm not one of those. An eternity of rest (intermingled with music and reading) sounds perfect to me. As long as we don't have to wear those awful polyester temple clothes.

Bored in Vernal said...

Amen, Chelsea!