"It's a Free Country"

That's what I used to say to my brother when he objected to anything I did, like changing the TV channel, or throwing trash into his room. Even while abusing the phrase so flagrantly, we were always aware of what a momentous benefit it was to be living in one of the few truly free countries in the world. We learned about the precious privilege of freedom in social studies and history classes from first grade onwards, and we flamboyantly celebrated freedom each year on the Fourth of July.

In the upper-middle-class community where I grew up, students were given the opportunity to enter a Freedom contest every year by writing an original essay. I didn't keep mine, but I do remember one of my essays contained a quote from something I'd read in the Reader's Digest. In the story, a Soviet visitor was being shown around a U.S. city when he first arrived. His hosts pointed out some of the more interesting sites such as architectural landmarks, museums, universities. Each time, the Russian would reply that there were many similar places in his home country. The hosts soon tired of trying to impress the man. Then on their way home, the group stopped at a grocery store, and the Soviet visitor stood in the aisle in awe, tears running down his face as he gazed at rows and rows of food. Hundreds of boxes of cereal, many brands of canned vegetables, and a bakery where no one stood in line all day for a loaf of bread. This story impressed me and filled me with a sense of nationalistic pride. My young heart would nearly burst each year as I lay on grassy hillsides watching fireworks flare above me to the tunes of "America the Beautiful" or "The Star-Spangled Banner."

From a tender age, Americans are imbued with appreciation for our nation's freedom and the blessings of democracy and capitalism. We value them so highly we are willing to allow even those who do not believe in these precepts to speak and demonstrate against them. Living in such a pluralistic society gives us the special advantage of being able to understand paradigms. Perhaps I don't believe in socialism, for example, but I can comprehend the concept and see why those who hold certain views would behave or live the way they do. I wouldn't handle poisonous snakes, but I truly "get" the impulse of obscure Christian groups to demonstrate faith by putting themselves in a dangerous situation and placing their trust in a higher power. Likewise, I certainly hope that those not of my LDS religion might attempt to persuade me otherwise, but in the end respect my freedom to worship according to my conscience. If we want freedom of thought to exist in this country, we have to allow others to think differently than ourselves.

These beliefs place us in a precarious position. If the pendulum swings too far, we may find ourselves sanctioning pernicious practices that are truly harmful to society in the name of freedom. Might a vigilante be justified in killing child pornographers, for example? Can this vigilante also exterminate abortion doctors? Where does one draw the line?

This year we have seen how fuzzy the line of freedom can get in the case of the FLDS and Texas law enforcement. It has been difficult to determine if the YFZ group has crossed the line of harming women and children by their marriages to older men, or if this indeed is a situation where their religious paradigm is different but equally as valid as that of the majority.

This line of reasoning has led me to a more nuanced view of the Church's stand on same sex marriage. Many of you know that my personal beliefs support marriage for same sex couples, as well as provision for polygamous marriages. I see no harm coming from loving unions or from them using the word "marriage." I do wish that the Church would draw their line where it would not harm those who sincerely wish to live together without harm to themselves or others. I have no desire to wound those who I know to be sincere and loving. I wouldn't be surprised if a few years into the future the Church's stand on this will have greatly softened. But perhaps there is something I am unable to perceive in the mix. With all the pornography and child prostitution and the many evils that exist in today's society, should the line of freedom be drawn here to keep our society from descending into anarchy and licentiousness? This is a very real danger that comes from living in a free society.

To be clear, I haven't been convinced to throw my wholehearted support to the Church's efforts to define marriage. But I am starting to find a way to make sense of the paradigm.

As I celebrate freedom in the United States this Fourth of July, I wish to honor the many brands of cereals we have in the aisles of our grocery stores. I wish to salute each church on every corner of the streets of Summerville, South Carolina. I want to rejoice in the diverse colors and convictions of the people in my town and country. Let me see through their eyes for just an instant as I shake their hands. I want to stand in the aisle of the supermarket and cry at the amazing variety that I see.